YOU BECOME YOU
I received the gift that Jeshua and Kuthumi said was coming to me before May of this year. They don’t usually come in between my sovereignty as they know how I am with all of that, but this was more of whisper, “Hey, Muriel…pssst… it’s ok, you need to hear this right now.” I smiled, fell back into myself, and took it all into my heart…
But, before I talk about any of this, I would like to speak about the loneliness of being in a state of realization from the human perspective.
The first days are always the hardest, like with anything here in the physical realm.
What comes up, must come down.
It’s like the end of a birthday in which you had no one to celebrate with. A slight depression tends to follow that evening, but nothing you can’t handle. Everyone’s birthday comes to an end eventually. The loneliness of being human is just that. It’s part of the natural state of being stuck in an unnatural form, restless in time and space. Nothing more, nothing less. Therefore, we surround ourselves with others most of the time. And many need relationships to feel complete. This way there is no need to meet with the guards at the kingdom within. When we do, we begin to be with our self, intimately. This may cause friction with the people who share their lives with us. It’s like they feel a sense of abandonment from us.
I waited until my realization to end an unhealthy intimate relationship I spent with someone for 25 years. I was also busy publishing a book at that time about the “how, what, when, where, and why’s” of my awakening. I created this uneasy experience to springboard myself through the cloud of mass consciousness within, and it worked! Slightly after Soul Ship was published on spring equinox 2019, I made the final moves into being alone with myself once and for all.
Who was she? Where was she? Where did Muriel go!? Why does it have to be this way? I loved him so much. This is scary.
To be with this form behind form and my own energy and this body, wow what an experience! Nothing I could communicate to him. It would be of no true interest, and he wouldn’t understand. I can hear him saying, “oh well, we had a good run.” It doesn’t matter in the end anyway. This is something that I had to do alone, and nothing that I’ve ever experienced. I haven’t felt my own energy, truly alone with myself since I moved into that relationship and before we relied on each other for our wellbeing. I faced this loneliness of the human, and a break away from a dependency of someone I spent my entire life with. Loneliness is not a word that captures what I was going through. A break from the bondage.
I crashed hard. I fell apart.
I had a lot of energy buildup, and as I was exercising the other day listening to a beautiful melodic song, my throat area became tight. I then began to release the pressure. I saw it for what it was. Remnants of what I couldn’t communicate to him. Afterall, I was stopped in my tracks. Muted. And, all that frustration and silence I experienced for years was circulating within, wanting to be released. Why wouldn’t he talk to me about this? But what would that do anyway? Make us come together again? No. I was facing the inevitable. Tears followed as I met with the message that Jeshua and Kuthumi whispered to me last year,
“Muriel, you are going to be in a really good place before May of next year, hold on!”
I really did need to hear that message, regardless of how in touch I am with my knowing and sovereignty. I see this now for what it is without relying on my brain to understand any of it. It was the frequency behind the message in which the brain could not comprehend. After several Moons passed my higher mind translated the message back to me, and it was this:
You Become You.
Now that I’ve had enough alone time to gather up my energy, I understand this. I’m no longer wrapped up into another individual. I have my own space. The “You” that I am becoming is merging with my human for the very first time in all my incarnations. I am sad, and I am excited too. It’s a mix of several different emotions. But my engagement with that is less than any attention deserves.
All I can do now is smile about all of this and keep on falling in love with all of who I Am. Especially my shadows, especially those farewell blues of living a singular identity. This doesn’t mean an end to my intimate relations with another human. In fact, that’s what I’m excited about these days. How my expansiveness is creating new energy experiences. Sometimes it’s worth moving through all those lonely days and not knowing when it will end, because what’s coming next is beyond anything imaginable, nothing with the mind.
“You Become You” by Muriel Shickman (Amu) 3.8.20
***Muriel is an Author and Shaman. She provides healing & guidance sessions (long distance or in-person). As a new energy creator, she shares her experiences of self-realization through articles, books, and online webinars/live events. Find her on Amazon Author Central to check out her books and free articles. Soul Ship: A Personal Account of Embodied Enlightenment is available in full-color as eBook and paperback. Visit: www.murielshickman.com for more information.
Blog/Musings by Muriel Shickman
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